I put a burden on sobriety’s shoulders that it couldn’t possibly carry. After decades of drinking, I stopped, and I expected all the pain to—poof—just go away. Every time you read, share, comment or heart you help an article improve its Rating—which helps Readers see important issues & writers win $$$ from Elephant. Realizing that your compatibility with someone was largely predicated on drinking together can be a gut punch. My husband and I had to get to know each other all over again. My drinking self was down for a good party and talking shit on someone’s patio. Because you’re not going to be the same person you were when you drank.
- Drugs smoothed over difficult feelings and situations that now must be faced “on the natch.” Anxiety may be covering deeper feelings of depression, shame, and emptiness.
- It is very easy to hold onto the ways addiction hurt your marriage, but doing so can inhibit the healing process.
- Couples may also be taking the necessary steps to make sure their marriage stays healthy.
- The accommodations, food and amenities are better than even the best hotel.
- In most cases, drinking and drug use must stop to identify and address the problems within the relationship.
- Remember, there is never any reason to tolerate physical, emotional, or verbal abuse.
Being addicted to alcohol is an expensive habit to have — especially if you’re drinking daily. If one person is unfairly prioritizing something that isn’t financially worthwhile for both partners in a marriage, there’s significant potential for conflict. In this episode, I share how alcohol affected my life as a mother and wife and how I navigated my relationships after I quit drinking.
Married to an Addict in Recovery? You’re Not Alone
Speak openly about how addiction hurt you and how you think you both can take action to mend it. In order to heal as both individuals and as a couple, here are some tips to consider when trying to repair a marriage after substance abuse treatment.
Alcohol addiction and abuse affect more than the individual. If your husband has a drinking problem, it’s normal to feel frustrated, concerned, and exhausted. While not everyone with a drinking problem is addicted to alcohol, heavy drinking and alcohol dependency increase the likelihood of developing an addiction. Addiction is a destructive condition that can take over someone’s life and requires professional help to recover from.
When Should I Worry About My Husband’s Drinking?
All too often, addicts are recycled through drug rehab treatment facilities across the country, where they are given the basics of recovery, but little else. Sent back out into the world, they lack the foundation in sobriety necessary to sustain long … Thankfully, there’s a lot of support marriage changes after sobriety out there for people living with an addicted spouse. Whatever you do, if you plan to stay in the relationship, know it’s going to be hard work. Anything worth doing is worth doing well, and anything worthwhile takes effort. Even in the healthiest marriages, things can go wrong.
What replaces a glass of wine at night?
- Water and/or check on your indoor plants.
- Listen to a podcast.
- Listen to an audiobook.
- Sit in a sauna.
- Sit in an ice bath.
- Go for a swim.
- Practice origami.
So, if you have a problem with drinking or drug use, it is worth it to enter treatment, not only for you, but also for your partner, children, friends, and others. If your partner has a problem with drugs or alcohol, getting him or her to enter treatment may be one of the best things you can do for him and your relationship. Business Development Representative for Burning Tree Programs. An avid aircraft enthusiast and aviator, Eric has been sober since 2005.
The 5 Most Prolific Ways Alcoholism Harms Marriage
All statistics are taken from the National Institute on Drug and Alcohol Abuse. https://ecosoberhouse.com/ Numbers reported are as of 2013, the most recent year figures are available.
How can I relax instead of drinking?
- 1) Read a good book. Sounds obvious I know but it's one I often put off in favour of scrolling through my phone.
- 2) Take a long bath.
- 3) Get outside and go for a walk.
- 4) Practice yoga or any exercise you enjoy.
- 5) Meditate.
Then his phone was disconnected and there’s no way of contacting him. I’m so worried, I’ve never experienced anything like this, it’s such a shame.
Drinking is Ruining my Marriage
Responsible for helping uphold the organization’s commitment to excellence, Dr Secrest believes in a holistic approach to treating mental health and addiction. A native of Dallas, TX his numerous awards and recognitions serve as a testament to his 20+ years of service in the field of medicine. Dawn Wilson serves as Director of Transition Services for Burning Tree Ranch and has a Bachelor of Science in Speech Language Pathology and Audiology from The University of Texas at Dallas. A weekly participant at Burning Tree’s Master Treatment Planning, Dawn is familiar with every client, from their very first week all the way to graduation. An active participant in the Down Syndrome Community, Dawn fundraises for the Down Syndrome Guild and The Rise School of Dallas, a non-profit that serves children with Down Syndrome. Happily married, she is the loving mother of 6 beautiful children. Jimmy Epperson serves as Chief Communications Officer for Burning Tree Programs.
Addicts can be especially skillful at concealing their problems from others, and that includes their spouse or potential spouse. It may be only after you’re married that you realize your partner has a substance abuse problem, and then all your attention goes to helping your addicted spouse. All of these stressors can result in the addict drinking or using in order to return to the familiar status quo. It may mean that he or she needs more support or is trying to make change too rapidly.
For me, that was the reality of his sobriety—that was the reality I had been avoiding for 10 years, a reality which I didn’t want to admit was mine. My married life was riddled with violence and self-deprecation. I was the victim of spousal abuse, physical and mental, and not only did I stay with my abuser, I stayed with him and started a family. Navigating marriage Society, alcohol pushers, and boredom in sobriety take a lot of grit and patience.
There are people who do this every weekend, sometimes more. They offer absurdly named “Night Brunches” for those who want to keep the party going. Even if you were to reconcile, you’d be building something new because what existed before is broken. It had to be for your drinking and drug use to continue.